That Could’ve Been My Child

Shifting gears a bit from my usual midlife, ‘find your voice’ posts, today’s post That Could’ve Been My Child is being hosted by fellow blogger Angela Noel who invited me to guest post after a comment I made on her blog a few weeks back. Thank you, Angela, for your openness to my comments and for the invitation to continue the conversation.

This post was tough to write on several levels – and it may be tough to read. But I believe that tough conversations sometimes need to be had.

I welcome your thoughts – and thank you for joining the conversation.



  1. I read this on Angela Noel’s website. This was a fantastic essay. Like many (most) who read it, this isn’t covering new ground for me, but I need constant reminders to check my privileged (white AND male) and to be vocal when opportunity presents itself. Sharing on Facebook.


  2. You don’t indicate how your text to the radio station was received. Based on my experience, whether or not they responded, they probably considered you a killjoy. It’s a shame. It would have been educational and sobering if the radio personalities had brought up your perspective as a conversation topic.


    • Jeff – thanks for your comments! I would hope that this topic is not new for anyone and that readers appreciate the reminder and perspective. This is, unfortunately, a marathon not a sprint. As for the radio station, no response at all. I also thought it could have been a great conversation topic but that they ignored me as a killjoy – this is why the problem persists. We’d rather joke and laugh than face hard truths. Thanks for joining the conversation!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Unfortunately, in my small rural Pennsylvania town, many are just beginning to hear about privilege and many more (most?) don’t believe it exists. I live in the sort of community where people wear tee shirts that say All Lives Matter and confederate flags adorn 40% of the pickup trucks. The past 3 years of Trump’s prominence has removed any sense of grudging acceptance from a large swath of the population. People now feel that they have a license to hate. The days after the election I was one of those people walking around in a fog unsure how such a large portion of our population could endorse racism, sexism, able-ism, etc, etc. Using your marathon analogy, sometimes I have trouble making myself run at all. It seems so futile. I hope your children stay safe and they only (or mostly) encounter enlightened citizens. This little rant of mine hasn’t done anything for my already not fantastic day, but thanks for giving me a venue to get it off my chest.


      • Jeff, I do know what you mean about the current state of affairs and the sense of license. Thank you for your open, honest post. My hope is that this climate soon shifts – perhaps we are at a tipping point…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Janet for inspiring me to look deep within myself. Obviously, the answers don’t come in the short time that I read and digested this post, but I am committed to continuing the inner dialogue. I also greatly appreciated the list of practical steps–what can I do? Because that question definitely came to my mind. Thanks for sharing on #MLSTL, which is where I found you.


    • Christie, I am glad that my post inspired you to look deeply. As you say, the answers won’t come immediately and they may not come easily — but I’m hoping that we can continue to think deeply and act when we have the opportunity and the courage. Thanks for joining the conversation.


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