R: Right-size

Somehow, I’ve gottentotally off track in my daily posts and completely missed R. If I’m countingcorrectly and watching others’ posts, I believe Monday, April 22 should be S.So I’m playing yet more catch-up by combining R and S. Interesting though,these two words “right-size” and “stretch” go hand in hand for me this week.

On Friday afternoon, I’d scheduled ‘desktime’ in my calendar.Desktime is how I schedule the office hours and computer work that I need tocomplete for clients. But the sun was shining, and the backyard was beckoning.

My husband and son had begun to dig up most of it on Tuesdayin preparation for a patio we hope to lay within the next few weeks. But inanticipation of what was promising to be a gorgeous weekend, I wanted to beable to enjoy it. So, I scrapped ‘desktime’ and set out to get the yard “openedduring construction.”

I moved blocks of cement, squatted to pull up roots, rakedand hoed, and organized the yard enough to set up the three ‘spots.’ My yardisn’t huge, but last year I’d realized that if positioned well, I have threespots to put seating that allows me to enjoy the shade and the sun, as desired,throughout the course of any day without moving furniture. As with the rest ofthe yard, the patio will be created primarily through second-hand purchases andfree materials collected by neighbors and Craigslist type posts. So for now, twoof the three spots are covered with tarp (awaiting said patio).

So, what does all of this have to do with self-care andright-sizing?

Well – if you follow Kathy Gottberg at Smart Living 365, you know the importance of right-sizing! But I found out the hard way this weekend.

Body:

Yesterday, I woke up sore but thought the best way to pushthrough it was to take a walk to the second-hand store to look for bricks. Somehow,what Google maps promised was a 3.8-mile walk turned into 6.9 miles by the timeI returned home (via bus on the return trip) – even more sore!

I didn’t ‘right-size’ the pressure I put on my body at all! Iforget too often that I’m no longer in my 20s.

Mind:

As eager as I am to have the project completed, I ‘right-sized’my expectation of how quickly it will all be finished. If we could simply pay thelandscaper down the street (as our next-door neighbor insists we do), I’dcertainly want it complete in a snap. Instead, I’m taking the project as alabor of love and a process to be enjoyed.

With the many home improvement projects I’ve taken on overthe years, I’ve come to realize that ‘right-sizing’ my expectations isself-care for the mind. Stress and tension comes from the mismatch between whatI think should happen and what actually happens.

Spirit:

Tied in closely with self-care of the mind, ‘right-sizing’ theemotion around this project is important. I’ve been working on creating anoutdoor living space in our backyard since I began working for myself, fromhome in 2015. The progress has been slow because, as I mentioned, we’ve piecedit together through freebies and mostly second-hand purchases over the years. ButI’ve come to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the space – the extreme sale Adirondackchairs, the Salvation Army table and spray-painted chairs. Living five milesfrom beautiful Lake Michigan, I often thought on a gorgeous day the best optionwas to head to the Lake, which isn’t always possible. I’d be disappointed that wedidn’t live closer.

As I looked for ways to provide self-care while working from home, I right-sized my emotions and chose to create space here at home to enjoy nature. Now when I want to pamper myself, I simply head out for an afternoon in my makeshift garden.

S: Stretch

Body:

As I sat in the backyard this morning, finding it difficultto actually stand-up or sit-down or walk because I pushed my body too far, myson explained the importance of stretching.

Because I follow Sue Loncaric at Sizzling Toward 60, I know I need to stretch – but today, my son and my pain, brought it all home to me.

Mind:

Stretching the mind is critical to self-care – and I think,to the preservation of compassion and empathy in our world today. Throughout mylife, I often lived somewhat between two worlds: white child growing up in ablack neighborhood, poor child attending a wealthy school, American living in China.Within my own family, I sometimes joked that we were a living ecumenical councilbecause although we were all raised Catholic, at one point I was a Catholic vowedSister, one brother was a Baptist minister,  one sister attended a Community Bible Church, anotherbrother was married to a Mormon, and several siblings were not practicing anyreligion.

I’ve always considered myself to be open to new ideas and capableof listening to others’ opinions. But I’ve come to realize that I still have somuch to learn about other cultures and customs.

And, I strongly believe that the more I can stretch my mindto know and understand that which is different and unfamiliar, the betterperson I will be. Becoming a better person is important to self-care.

Spirit:

When we stretch our bodiesand our minds, our spirit will feel good. We will experience shots of adrenalineand dopamine through exercise, and we will broaden our minds and world views.

But today, I learned that the word used in the parables ofthe Prodigal Son and the Good Samaritan for compassionwas splagchnoisomai,which means “to let one’s innards embrace the feeling or situation ofanother.”

And I couldn’t help but think that to stretch our spirit is to have compassion. This may notalways feel good, because to have compassion sometimes means we must ‘sufferwith’ another – but I believe with every fiber of my being that unless anduntil we each learn splagchnoisomaitheatrocities of what happened in Sri Lanka and Broward County, Florida willcontinue.

Can we truly practiceself-care if we ignore the hatred in our world?